Thanksgiving is awesome; Black Friday is stupid

Most sane adults can agree that Thanksgiving is the best holiday because of its simple focus on food and family. It has retained a purity of the original unlike any other holiday, which we have inflated to gargantuan behemoths through commercialism and personal irresponsibility. That’s not to say there is no drama; that recipe is simple: gather family to eat food, throw in a well-stocked side bar, and unpleasant truths will be served! As far as holidays go, Thanksgiving is the easiest to stomach and, as a weekend, the most relaxing.

ð Eating lunch while still in your pajamas because you won’t leave the house until leftover dinner with the family might be the best way to spend Black Friday.

ð A double-header Thanksgiving is lovely because of this syllogism: Thanksgiving is spent with good people; good people make good food; thus, Thanksgiving is good food.

Turkey bowl drumstick

ð Looking forward to the annual turkey bowl is not irrational because even if you drop two wide open touchdown passes then sprain your ankle walking backwards, it was still worth it.

ð A date with the wife to a friend’s house for another friend’s birthday party is something to be thankful for; her minding the kids and letting you sleep in the next morning is absolute undeniable unequivocal love.

ð Not leaving the house—hell, not getting out of my pajamas on Saturday is a wonderful treat. It’s not all sloth either, because I’ve been working, but even if I hadn’t been, because of Thanksgiving, I wouldn’t feel guilty indulging myself with two days in a row of not leaving the house.

ð The kids getting excited for Christmas, with the gratuitous decorations and all the pomp and waste, can thaw even this Grinch’s heart.

Hope you enjoyed yours as much as I enjoyed mine. Here’s to looking forward to next year…


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  1. #1 by Artilay Sprouts on 11/27/2011 - 9:29 PM

    Thanksgiving is indeed the easiest to stomach unless one has to stomach the sight of your hairy, bulbous, manfoot goiter.

  2. #2 by Duffer on 12/11/2011 - 9:29 AM

    Manfoot goiter. Already stuffed.

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